It is absolutely insane that I really haven't posted in 3 months. Life has been crazy busy, but everything has been going very well. I have been taking two online classes this semester and I'm doing great. I am signed up to go back to full time for the spring semester, and I am very excited about that. …

It's crazy to think that it is now August and Summer is almost over. I posted an update back in May, through the COVID-19 business not much hasbeen entirely new. When i said I was working all summer i meant that. Back in June I did go on a 4 day get away trip to St George. It's safe to say that trip saved my S…

Wow I haven’t posted here since March. A lot was happening and I had to process a lot of emotions during the stay at home order. I have been back at work and it’s been the best! I missed all of my co workers who are also my friends. It’s nice to be getting paychecks again, and to just feel productive. I have a fun rai…

Wow a lot of bullshit has gone down since I last posted. As we are all aware the coronavirus has spread like crazy and now we are all quarantined. I have never seen a disease affect society the way the coronavirus has within the last two weeks. Last week everything was fine, it wasn't until Thursday when everythin…

One two three Have your eyes on me Four five six Let’s hope this is something you can fix Seven eight nine Damn girl you almost died Ten eleven twelve How can you even handle yourself? Thirteen fourteen fifteen Accidents can happen over anything Sixteen seventeen eighteen Be blessed that you're still …

120-degree heat is painful, but at least I can go for a swim. Wearing shorts all year round is what I lived for. Being invaded by cacti and palm trees was heaven. Scorpions were a complete nightmare. Driving my bestie to Target and back. Starbucks runs on the daily. Small town grocery stores with incredible p…

For once in my life a year was in my favor Bringing new and faithful adventures Healing the wounds from my past Getting a sincere chance Chances cannot always be given But one chance was enough Surviving through the high school days Gaining new friends in a warmer place Better days came and went Giving me …

You either have a pretty face, or you don’t There is no ifs, ands or buts. To be beautiful you have to be confident. Putting on ten pounds of makeup is ugly. Wearing little to no makeup is better. Plus, it prevents less breakouts. There’s no rhyme or reason to put a mask on. Smiling is the best thing you can …

A simmering fall breeze is in the air Change is happening all around Within the trees and myself Considering all the greatness that has happened 
 Anger has subsided Light begins to shine through the cracks Mending what was once broken Happiness lingers once more 
 The changing leaves once upset the so…

Years and years go by fast. One second you're born, the next you’re dead Wanting every single moment to last. 
 Over time everyone occurs, sometimes it happens all at once. You can't always predict what will happen next. We just hope for the best. 
 People will be absolutely cruel, they will br…

When we met I thought you were the one to catch me as I fall. I was clearly mistaken. You ended up being the one who pushed me off a cliff. Falling into infinite amounts of hells. Hell is sweet compared to whatever you put me through. I called you my best friend. I let you in. I told you everything. I wasted s…

Calling me fat didn't make you skinny. Making me feel crazy didn't make you sane. Lying never found your truth. Playing never made you win the game. 
 Saying I looked scary sparked something within me. Claiming I would end up alone didn't make you feel any less lonelier. Stop criticizing and le…

After what I said to Tina you wanted me dead. There I sat alone in the dark. Drenched in tears on my bed.

When I first saw you I was curious You were interesting and unknown I kept staring but you were delirious Skin Snow White and perfect Sparkling like diamonds If that were the case, I'd buy them Your hair is like a bush Soft yet prickly There was something different about you Everything was unreal You …

Six months has passed, stabbed my fingers against your throbs. Our friendship wasn't meant to last, but what's past is past. Time to move on. You weren't meant to be mine. I thought we would be fine. Now it's my turn to shine. You've changed now, There is nothing left for me here. Now m…

Dreaming of you makes me want to die. After I awake, I throw my fucking guts up. I loved you with all of my being, and you went and ruined everything. You never returned the favor, All you did was hurt me. Lying, deceit, masking true colors. You’re the one who is plastic. Caring is something you’ll never be f…

Being naked and showing off what I've got, anyone can do that. Take off clothes and reveal it all, to others that's true nakedness. 
 To me it's not. Being naked isn't just taking off your clothes, nakedness is inside us. 
 Showing who you really are, not being afraid to speak your mind…

I’m not sorry for coming out as gay. I’m not sorry for the continuous weight gain. I’m not sorry for telling you to chill out. I’m not sorry for lying to you. I’m not sorry for being fucked up. I’m not sorry that I have anxiety and depression. I’m not sorry that I wrote a blog. I’m not sorry that I despise my s…

My heart aches every time I think of you I don't know why I even care You're dangerous and cruel I won't dare to look at you 
 What went on was crazy I was very young You took complete advantage of me That has never happened before 
 I'm scarred and broken You lied to me I thought y…

Calling out into the day, a tree is whistling, lying around somewhere near the clearing. The tree is very sad. No one exactly knows why. Perhaps somebody made him mad He thinks about how it all went wrong, friends used to care. No longer does he hear his hearts song.

Real friends don’t make you bawl your eyes out. Real friends don’t care if you’re different or crazy. Real friends don’t treat you like garbage just because they feel like it. Real friends don’t care about who or what you love. Real friends don’t use your mistakes against you. Real friends don’t blame you for the…

Such work of art right before thine eyes Ideas, feelings, and memories. Broken down piece by piece, now to find the real meaning Secrets have been poured, a heart that has been torn. Leaving behind the darkness and lies, revealing what cannot be said but written Reliving the message behind such words. …

•Funny •Smart •Nice Smile •Persistent •Caring •Motivated •Kind •Big hearted •Loyal •Honest •Not afraid to speak my truth •Open minded •Hard worker •Laid back •Open to change and new ideas •Resilient •Empathetic •Straight forward •Easy to approach •Not afraid to cry •Emotionally strong

At 15 years old I thought turning 21 was going to be the best thing. I used to see myself moving to New York, And eventually becoming a writer. Dreams were much bigger then. I was dead set on my plans. Now here’s the real question, what the hell happened? Life killed the dream. More like my demons killed it.…

I cannot believe that it's almost the end of January. I also am having a hard time grasping it is actually 2020. Sometimes I still feel like I just graduated high school and it's still 2016 or 2017. Hell sometimes I genuinely think I'm still 16 for crying out loud. There won't be a day where I don'…