Over the past 3 years I have gained a new perspective on just how powerful kindness is. None of us ever know what someone is going through, and just by being nice there is a huge chance you gave that person a reason to live. My entire life I was always taught to be kind to everyone I meet, well those of you who know me have seen how natural being genuinely nice is for me. I have always been nice, accepting, and inclusive. I never really knew how important it is to be nice, regardless of the situation. I didn't gain an understanding until I faced a lot of heartache. Some of it was caused by others and the other half was caused by my own fears and insecurities.
Even though I am a kind person, I am no saint. I have hurt a lot of people in my life and I returned the heartache everyone gave to me and it was wrong. I used to be so set on trying to show people how I felt on a daily basis. At the same time I wasn't a terrible person I just had a really bad temper. I consider myself to be a very easygoing person who others love to be around. The second someone does something to intentionally hurt me or they have their own agenda I turn into a nightmare. Over the years I have been able to improve myself. I always remind myself that kindness is something the world needs more of. After the events of junior year of being stabbed in the back, having people twist the truth, and having so much blame thrown on me, I found being unkind isn't worth it. I saw how everything affected me and if I could help someone else that's enough.
Granted I am only human and I have caused some hurt since I was 17, but it wasn't to the extent it was before. I bet anyone reading this who didn't know about my temper is in shock. All people really saw through junior high and high school is the best parts of me. That's what counts for everything. Even nice girls have their limits and I have had to learn the difference between standing up for myself and tearing others down for my benefit. It can be hard to distinguish the differences, but there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. I didn't feel the need for a little while to put that into serious consideration, because people were crossing that line with me 24/7. With that being said I had to learn the hard way of being the bigger person.
The kindness of the people who were there meant the world to me. Especially during junior year. I was a mess and I didn't know when I would just lose it and hurt myself or others. I am thankful to anyone who gave me their time. After any bad event occurred that year, there was always someone who genuinely cared who would make a lot of it better. I was still hurting, but it hurt a lot less knowing that not everyone at PGHS hated my guts. That is how I genuinely felt, people were always tarring and whispering. When all of this started I thought it was just me being paranoid. Honestly, you know when people are talking about you. If you were ever kind to me at all through that time, thank you. Every each and one of you saved my life.
